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Pilot Truisms………,,

Posted by on May 23, 2014

– A good simulator check ride is like a successful surgery on a dead body.

– Asking a pilot what he thinks about the FAA is like asking a tree what it thinks about dogs.

– An airline pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when flying, and about flying when he’s with a woman.

– The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as a copilot, is a copilot who once was a captain.

– Experience is gained through making mistakes. Mistakes are caused by a lack of experience

– Hand-flying an ILS in a gusty crosswind is easier than adjusting the shower controls in a layover hotel.

– A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your sister.

– Most airline crew food tastes like warmed-over chicken because that’s what it is.

– Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes wrong . .. . . . then one pilot gets all the blame.

– Standard checklist practice requires pilots to read to each other procedures used every day, and recite from memory those which are only needed once every five years.

– A crew scheduler has to be the kind of person who wakes his wife at midnight to carry out the garbage, then sends her back to let the cat in.

– Unlike flight crew members, jet engines stop whining when the plane arrives at the gate.

– A dispatcher’s desk has never run out of fuel.

– An FAA investigation is conducted by a few non-flying experts who take six months to itemize the mistakes made by a crew who had six seconds to react to the emergency.

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